Thursday, 4 February 2010

Lonely Hearts - Man Seeks Woman

   Indecisive man (full of conviction) seeks woman ( or girl, depending on which you consider most flattering) who is not necessarily ‘the one’ but who is open to wondering if there really is ‘one’, or if it’s more important to give everything now, and hold nothing back, just in case there are many others, and  life wouldn’t be defined by failed relationships and maybe a lengthy successful one, but more a catalogue of beautiful memories of people you deeply admire and respect but had to move on from (like houses, or cities). I would be willing to spend the rest of my life with you, if it turns out that is better, but never because it would be too painful to end, or because we got stuck in a rut, only ever because our lives had become entwined to the point that we enjoy sharing them more than keeping them separate. Maybe we’d have dinner once and feel awkward and never speak again, but that’s fine, because we tried, rather than being paralyzed by fear and what ifs.

Appearance is not that important, but sometimes I think it’s ok to find certain things attractive despite the complete lack of rationality. I mean, if you have gorgeous eyes, it’s not because of anything you did, it’s just lucky genetics (except for when people get older, and the shape of their face can seem to reflect inner warmth, or evil etc, although maybe that is just a lottery too, because I once saw an old man who looked cold and bitter, and he was the most generous spirited man you could imagine). But when we find features to be pretty I often think it’s like nature tapping us on the shoulder saying “hey, your genes might want to get to know those genes better”.

Must have good sense of humour (although, I understand that some people’s sense of humour is like a hidden treasure, and it takes time to find). If you don’t have a good sense of humour, then I know it’s not really your fault, and there might be deep rooted reasons why you can’t let go and laugh, but I just don’t think I’m the right person for you (although I’m sure there is somebody who can either make you comfortable or is equally uncomfortable), and if I’m honest, I’m too hung up on this idea that we don’t know how long we have left to be investing in you for the long-term.

I don’t really mind what you’re interested in, so long as you’re interested in something and passionate about something (even if it’s a thing you think would be off putting on a first date, like antique birdcages or collecting newspaper clippings about strangers – I won’t be put off!).

If you have definite plans, like children, or marriage, or swingers parties, then please understand that I’m not AGAINST your plans, but I don’t have any and I’m not open to being sideswiped into yours, although that’s not to say I wouldn’t come around to them in time (it always kind of offends me when people decide they are going to get married before they have even met or consulted with a potential partner...)
Please call if your interested, or write (not that I’m old fashioned, but I am a romantic, and I’m not sure that any good story could start via email).

People who write lonely hearts ads are great poets. You have such a brief space to make your impact on somebody who you hope will become one of the most important people in your life. 

For the record,  I'm not a sociopathic Lonely Hearts scourer  or a genuine Lonely Heart (?) but this was inspired by a brief conversation with a friend, and I couldn't resist. I'd like to imagine this ad placed between these two real examples from a local source...*

30 year old female, looking for a caring and lasting relationship with a good man age 30-40 anywhere in the UK. There is no ideal man for me but I like an old fashioned gentleman who opens doors for me, well I am 5ft 2 I do have trouble reaching them door handles.

A single guy, 31,  looking for chat and who knows what else, easy going, looking for similar qualities in a woman.

* Humour aside, I hope these two people find eternal happiness (maybe with each other? )

©2010 Copyright Daniel J. Fiasco

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